Heidi: Back When We Were Grownups

I'll admit it - I'm not a big fan of fiction and haven't been for a number of years.  It's darn hard to get me pulled into a novel and care about the characters (the key notable exception is the The Secret Life of Bees and almost anything by Alexander McCall Smith).

And this was true to form - it was hard to get into, and I complained to Sarah.

But the complaint was premature, and I ended up enjoying it quite a bit.  Good thought provocation.  

Most of us, especially as we age, at times wonder about the path not taken.  I try very hard to not make any decisions that I will later regret and instead am happy with how things are, but it is not abnormal to think about other possibilities.  What if?  

Here is a woman (SPOILER ALERT) who had a life planned out for her, which she dumped to jump into another life that pre-existed her.  She married a man with children and was fully wrapped into the craziness of their lives.  More a matriarch than a stepmother.  But the man she married died (mysteriously, perhaps suicidally) only six years later - so in her mid 20's she's widowed and raising four children and running a family business in their home.  The setting of the business is critical and a deft stroke by the author.  

I found all the characters annoying at times but not unlikeable.  Instead, this was a realistic portrayal of almost every family I've ever known well - with warts and all.  I particularly liked the use of Peter, the stepson of her stepdaughter.  

The whole Will storyline was a fantastic reminder of my own recent resolution: no recycling men.  We break up and move on for a reason, and going back doesn't work no matter how we try.  I thought it compelling, how hard they both tried but it was prophetically (and maybe pathetically) doomed.  Poor Will.

There were several passages I wanted to allude to here, but I read on the plane and didn't mark them ... 

But I think of the silly cliche "Fake it until you make it" and it has an element of truth.  Rebecca faked her happiness and exuberance, but that was who she really was.  I liked the ending quite a bit.

But why did she and Zeb never get together?  I found that puzzling.  

I loved Aunt Ida.  And the mechanic so happily married to the crazy lady?  Fascinating characters, all of them.  The plumber or electrician shouting out advice and invited to birthday parties - or the woman with the wonderful hats who helped serve at times but was invited as a participant at the most meaningful occasions.  Tina staying at Rebecca's house and breakfasting together.  Life and relationships are messy and I liked how authentic that is.  I think a message was that laying out the plans most carefully - as Will did - can lead to rigid dissatisfaction. But being open to the moment and the crazy can lead to an exasperating yet fulfilling life.  And I liked that message indeed.  Like a Flannery O'Connor story without the pathology.  Rebecca is exasperated with Min Foo's short-lived marriages and has her mechanisms for coping (such as refusing to admit she knows where Hakim is from - and didn't Hakim seem to eagerly be such an outstanding father?), but she doesn't make a big production of disapproval.  They all squabble and bicker but still show up on Thursday evenings.  

So, it ended up being more enjoyable than I expected at first, and I would read more by Anne Tyler.